CLGS

In the spring of 1994, my husband Tom and I decided to become therapeutic foster care providers. We had just finished graduate school in rehabilitation counseling. One Sunday, skimming the paper for employment opportunities, I saw an ad that read something like this:

Foster parents needed to provide in–home care to a young man with multiple disabilities. This person will be facing a series of surgeries and will need assistance with independent living skills...

Tom and I replied with a resume to the listed social service agency, thinking that this agency might have other positions available for skilled rehabilitation counselors. Thoughts of providing case management or in–house training related to disabilities came to mind for both of us.

The director responded immediately, asking if we would be interested in fostering the person mentioned in the ad. Our reply was simple enough. "Well, we are not really in a position to care for someone in our home. Our schedules are hectic. We just need secure employment..." The director said she wished we would at least consider the opportunity because she felt our educational background would benefit this young man. Besides, she said, he was difficult to place given the severity of his disabilities. She gave us a run down of his life and what led up to his need for care at this time. "His name is Al. He has been institutionalized for nineteen of his twenty years. He is part of a class action suit against the institution. Now he has the chance to live in the community..." What followed was a harrowing list of disabilities and an explanation of the reconstructive surgeries ahead for Al. Al would be meeting several potential "foster parents." Would we at least be willing to meet him? We agreed.

A Decision That Changed Us All

That conversation changed our lives and the life of our worshiping community. After we met Al, there was no question. The decision was made jointly between Al and the two of us. He came to live with us in June of 1994 and together we have crossed many bridges.

In our first meeting, we asked Al how he felt about church and explained our active participation in the Clifton Presbyterian community. He was excited. Being in an institution, he had limited interaction with church congregations, but expressed a strong faith. We explained that Clifton was an inclusive church and part of the More Light Network. We talked about the homeless mission that Clifton created fifteen years ago. We explained how Tom is a volunteer bus driver, picking up homeless men at the stop in downtown Atlanta once a week, and that I am the food coordinator for the shelter. We also explained that Clifton is a small community, with a worshiping congregation of about forty people. From the beginning, Al expressed a deep understanding for disenfranchised people. He said, "Most people don?t care about homelessness. I am glad Clifton gives them a home."

In the months preceding Al's placement with us, Tom and I took every opportunity to share about Al at church. We shared a picture of him to ease any shock for people who may not have encountered a person with facial differences. We explained what Al's disabilities were, hoping not to color any first impressions. At the same time, we felt that if the congregation knew about his differences even before he joined in, they would be able to move past the differences. They would, we hoped, be able to meet Al and discover the gifts he would bring. With the best of intentions, the congregation embraced Al, sometimes even doting on him. Al says ?I didn?t know what to expect. I expected them to be skeptical. I know my disabilities surprised them." Some people were indeed skeptical, not only of Al becoming part of the church community, but of Tom and I signing up for such a huge "undertaking."

DeeAnna's Journey

I first became involved at Clifton Presbyterian as a volunteer in the homeless mission. Every night the men sleep in the sanctuary and every Sunday the mats are rolled away to make room for worship. The members of this church bring guests into their church home every night. Some guests remain for a very short time; others become residents. I watched volunteers, church members, and homeless guests enter into relationship with one another. People who seemingly had nothing in common, all very different and diverse, were teaching and learning from one another. People of different cultures, races, sexual orientations, genders, classes, and abilities were giving and receiving from one another. I eventually joined Clifton as a worshiping member, in part because I believed in the efforts of the homeless mission, but also because of Clifton's commitment to inclusiveness and their decision to become part of the More Light Network.

For years, before my decision to bring Al into my life, Clifton modeled the valuing of differences for me. Night after night, Clifton brought marginalized people into their home and offered hospitality. There was never any ownership of the residence; it was truly God's house for all who dwelled within. I believe this witnessing allowed me to open my heart and home to Al. The irony is that those people in the Clifton community who were hesitant and skeptical about Al were the very people who were part of the witness. They were instrumental in bringing me to a place of truly valuing differences.

Learning to Value Differences

I believe we learn to value differences through experience. In my case, Clifton Presbyterian Church taught me, at the deepest level, how to value the differences of homeless people and people with different sexual orientations. Interwoven among the homeless guests were people with a variety of differences, including disability. However, as intimate as this portrait is, bringing Al into the worshiping community was a deeper cut even still. The fabric of Clifton was no longer woven with differences on the frayed edges; a person with ability differences was now worshiping in their midst and expected nurturing. Al expected more than a hot meal, a warm blanket, and occasional conversation. He wanted to be able to form lasting relationships and be valued as an integral part of the community. This did not happen overnight. Al and church members reached a level of vulnerability with each other over time. Al began to share his pain and his joy. He joined in the church activities and began seeing the pastor for weekly visits. He began asking for what he needed–from help to the rest room to a prayer request. People began to see Al, not for what he had overcome, but for his ideas and opinions.

I asked Al what he liked about Clifton. He said very matter–of–factly, "Well, Clifton is like another family for me." I asked Al how he thought people or churches could begin to value ability difference. He said:

Go to places that have people with disabilities, like hospitals and institutions. Volunteer at places like that so you can begin to see what their lives are like. That's how you get educated. Find a couple of people that you really like and have conversations with them. That way, the disability won't be as frightening. Take someone with a disability out just to be with them. When you have someone with a disability in your church, educate them. I didn't know much about being Presbyterian, or getting baptized, but members of the church talked to me and the pastor gave me some literature. My baptism was the greatest! It changed me. In fact, my relationship with God got stronger. It's like when people get married and say their vows. I really am a child of God. Churches also need to be sensitive to language. Words like crippled and lame are hard to hear. We all just need to learn from each other.

How Have We Changed?

In the time that Al has been with Tom and me, the youth at Clifton have produced and staged a play about valuing different sexual orientations. Clifton has begun to move beyond shelter in their homeless mission. I have witnessed the building of deeper relationships as volunteers, members, staff, and other churches have engaged in a deeper level of commitment to the guests that reside at Clifton. We are now talking about how to make our church more accessible to people with disabilities. I have been a part of building deep, intentional, and inclusive relationships within my nuclear family and my church family.

All of us at Clifton have taught and we have learned. We have given and we have received. We have grown and we have experienced! That's how we learn to value differences.

DeeAnna P. Merz and Al Duvall are members of Clifton Presbyterian Church in Atlanta, Georgia. DeeAnna works part-time at the church as food coordinator for the homeless mission. Al recently completed course work at the Center for the Visually Impaired and is now volunteering his time at the Disability Action Center.