CLGS

"You're 74 years old? Impossible! You don't look a day over 60!" I smile with evident pleasure, blush ever so slightly, and reply, "Aren't you kind! Thank you for saying that! I really don't feel old." Everyone is happy. My friend has been gracious by underestimating my age. And my sense of being a "special person"—not like other old people—has been reinforced.

What is wrong with this picture? First, I have been evaluated by a set of stereotypes about old people that may, or may not, apply to me. Second, I have failed to grasp an opportunity to address the issue of "ageism" and "age privilege."

Aging vs. Ageism

Aging is an experience shared by every living creature from the moment of birth. If we are children, we are said to be "growing up." If we are youth, we are "maturing." But if we are adults, we are "getting old." So we begin the ritual of our culture: we spend time, money, and psychic energy trying to "stay young." In the process, we deny our identity. We say we are aging, or we are not as young as we used to be, or we are getting older. We are reluctant to say, "I am old."

Children "grow up" eagerly looking forward to adult privileges. Young people "mature" with the anticipation of sharing adult power. As adults, however, we resist "coming out old" even to ourselves because it often signals the end of both privilege and power, as well as the reluctant recognition of our own mortality.

Ageism—and its personal impact—is a reality shared by almost every old person, although many of us are socialized not to recognize it. It has been defined as "the systematic discrimination and oppression of people solely because they are old."1 Illustrations can be found on a continuum all the way from "irritating" to "life demeaning."

An old man leaves his umbrella in the car and is called a "forgetful old man." An old woman does not recognize the need for changes in societal structures and is called "out of date." An old man takes his umbrella with him in case of rain and is called a "fussy old man." An old woman speaks out against the status quo and is called "disruptive and feisty." Old men and women are voted out of public office solely on the basis of their age. Same sex partners, one old and one younger, are dining out. At the end of the meal the table server pointedly gives the check to the younger of the two. At the grocery store, obviously able-bodied, white-haired customers are asked if they need assistance with their groceries. Able old people lose their jobs in order to make way for the young. (See also "It Is Ageist To ...", page 13.)

Ageism is alive and well when all of one's being is defined by a single characteristic—the number of years one has lived. Ageism is based on a deeply ingrained, negative stereotype of what old people are really like. It is used to rationalize discrimination and to confuse our discussions about rights and privilege.

Human Rights vs. Privilege

Human rights are the goods of life
to which everyone has a right simply because they are human beings, created by God. "Everyone" means everyone: the young, the old, the in-between, the abled and those with disabilities, men and women, whites and people of color, heterosexuals and lesbigays. In the United States we have historically identified these rights as "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

Privilege, on the other hand, is the expectation that these human rights will automatically be enjoyed by particular groups of people solely because of factors of birth. Thus privilege, and therefore power, is automatically bestowed upon those of a certain economic class, gender, race, or sexual orientation. In our American culture such privilege is most often granted to middle and upper class persons, and within these groups, to white heterosexual males. Others, including women, people of color, the poor, those with disabilities, and lesbigay persons achieve certain human rights only through advocacy and special legislation. However, in the general course of human affairs, those discriminated against for any reason usually do not have access to either power or privilege, making it difficult to become advocates on their own behalf.

Even when human rights are legislated, those who have enjoyed "systemic privilege"—usually without even noticing it—often interpret such basic rights as "special rights" or as "privilege unfairly bestowed" on undeserving groups.

Relationship Between Ageism and Privilege

Old people have few privileges in our
society. The ones they have are primarily monetary, based on a stereotype that all old people are poor. (Some of these are euphemistically referred to as "senior discounts." However, the middle-aged "poor" do not receive "middle-aged" discounts!) The fact of the matter is that many of the old are living at or below the poverty line, where senior discounts, while appreciated, do not represent a solution.

In our culture the image of "old" tends to thwart the probability that the old can pursue life, liberty, and happiness. To describe someone as old conjures up a picture of poor, sick, alone, senile, physically disabled, out of touch with the real world, hopelessly traditional, and gainfully unemployed. In other words, useless. When the old are viewed in this way, little is expected of them. For all intents and purposes they have been marginalized and rendered invisible. If this stereotype becomes the lens through which all old people are viewed, the status and power of the old are diminished almost to the vanishing point—and the "privilege" of mid-life adults is confirmed and legitimized.

Issues for the Church

For the old, the death of spouse, part-
ner, or close friends is a common experience and expectation. These losses are deepened by modern mobility that frequently results in children and intimate confidants living many miles away. Fortunately, the church community often becomes "family " for otherwise isolated persons. The context may be an adult Sunday School class, a women's or a men's group, the choir, or a Wednesday night Bible study. When retirement from the work force or fading physical energies result in a sense of disengagement from life, participation in these church groups can provide a much needed sense of connection.

But the "church family" is not immune to the dangers of ageism and age privilege!

• A church is ageist when it regrets the inability of the old to climb the stairs to the sanctuary, but fails to provide accessibility.
• A church is ageist when it takes public pride in the "new young families" who are attending church activities, but takes for granted the "old folks" who have supported the church through many years.
• A church is ageist when it forgets its active old members and leaves ministry with the old to the retired minister on the church staff whose task is to visit the shut-ins.
• A church is ageist when it assumes that old people no longer want leadership roles.
• A church is ageist when it acts on the assumption that in order for younger people to become involved in the church the active and able old members must be expected to step aside.
• A church is ageist when it makes plans for an "older adult ministry" without consulting the ones to whom and with whom they plan to minister.
• A church is ageist when it "honors" the old but treats them in a condescending and patronizing way.
• A church is ageist when it puts all of the hearing aids in one pew, down front.
• A church is ageist when it assumes that old people will always resist change.

The issue before the church is that of ensuring equal accessibility (both to building and to leadership), equal visibility, and equal respect. In other words, the issue is to identify and rectify any "over-privileged" status which currently benefits middle-aged adults, youth, or children in our churches.

Rarely does a church consciously discriminate against the old. Often the old themselves are unaware that they are the targets of ageist thinking, but assume that feelings of uselessness and invisibility are simply the lot of persons who are growing old.

When actions associated with ageism are accompanied by behaviors that arise out of one or more of the other "isms"—heterosexism or racism, for example—people are faced with double jeopardy! Double jeopardy belongs on a television game show, not in the church!

IT IS AGEIST...

...To consider "young" a compliment and "old" a derogatory synonym for ugly, decrepit, out-of-date. ("You don't look your age.")

...To speak/do for Old People instead of letting them speak/do for themselves. To assume they need help. (To restaurant staff: "Dad would like a table by the window.")

...To view an Old Person either as a burden or a role model rather than an equal with whom a reciprocal relationship is desirable. ("When I get old, I want to be just like you!")

...To patronize a courageous Old Person by trivializing their anger as "feisty." ("She's a feisty old gal. Don't take her too seriously.")

...To categorize an outspoken Old Person as "complaining," "difficult," or "crotchety." ("He's a crotchety old man. If he doesn't like something, he lets you know!")

...To be ready to force the segregation of Old People into an "Old People's Home" and feel good about it. ("We're putting mother into a retirement home. She'll be happier with people her own age.")

...To assume automatically that an Old Person is asexual. ("Getting married? At their age?")

...To be unsupportive of an Old Person looking for a partner, or disrespectful of an Old Person's choice to be single. ("She doesn't really know what she wants!")

...Not to confront ageist remarks because they are not "really" meant "that" way! ("I just try to hold my tongue. People mean well!")

This list is adapted from "Ageism—What Is It?" in OLOC, a brochure of the Old Lesbian Organizing Committee, PO Box 980422, Houston, TX 77098. Used with permission.

Notes

1. Old Lesbian Organizing Committee, Facilitator's Handbook: Confronting Ageism (OLOC, 1992). PO Box 980422, Houston, TX 77098.

About the author

Dorothy Jean Furnish, an old 74-year-old professor emerita of Christian education at Garrett-Evangelical Theological Seminary in Evanston, Illinois, is now growing older in Colorado.